Submission

Boy, a lot has happened since my last post. Last Monday I wrote my blog with a purpose in my heart to have great week and enjoy my time with the boys. Tuesday was a happy day for me; I went to an amazing Mom to Mom meeting. For those who do not know, it is like a MOPS (mothers of preschoolers) except it's for all mom's with children of every age. There is a wonderful speaker that goes over the bible study and to help us become even better moms with our children and to throw guilt away... :-) Which I'm a big fan of! :-) Or it's a fan of me? I haven't yet decided.

Later on Tuesday, I go to my mom's house so I can go to my Apples of Gold Bible study. I know, it seems like all I ever do is go to Bible Studies!! It just happens that the two I'm involved in are on the same day. Mom to Mom lasts the entire school year and Apples of Gold is only 6 weeks. Either way, I wouldn't trade them in. Which is why my post is called Submission...

Tuesday night during my Bible Study we talked about Submission. How it doesn't mean being a door mat but to give up your control and turn it over to God. Trusting him to take care of you instead of being frustrated, worried, and anxious - more friends of mine - about things you can not control. God loves us so much that He sent His Son to die for us. I know I would die for my children but I would not have my boys die for someone else! Anyway, it was a great reminder to continue to give to God and let Him work things out. (This does not mean you don't do anything just sit around and do nothing waiting on God. It means to go about your day doing the things He has enabled and given you to do BUT don't get stressed, turn it over to Him let God handle it and work it out for you.) The Bible study was so much better than what I'm relating. But it is important for me to lay this foundation of what has happened since Tuesday night.

By the time, my study was over I went back to mom's house, it's about a 1 min drive from the study to her house. When I came in the lights were mostly off and in the boys room where two adorable sweet boys nestled right up to a sleeping Nonnie. So I decided not to wake them up and called Steve and told him, I would just stay here the night and see him the next day.

Wednesday, I was glad I was at my mom's. During the morning, I discovered Steven had a low fever and so he was not going to school. As the morning progressed my mom started to begin stuttering and then slurring her words among other scary things. She was telling me she didn't feel good and could I stay with her. I'll fast forward a bunch of detail to the point I ended up having to call 911. This is a somewhat funny story because if anyone knows my mom, she has to be dressed to the 9's before she steps out her door. Oh the trouble she gave the paramedics. It was actually funny if it wasn't for the fact they believed she was having a stroke.

Steve made amazing time in his race car time portal vehicle because he was at my mom's house in about 20 minutes. During this time, I was calling my mom's specialist doctors and then the hospital to make sure they were ready for her because by the time she left she wasn't communicating very well at all. I was really scared. From Wednesday morning until late into the evening I was with her in the ER and then a hospital room where they ran tests.

Now the sweetness of God steps in. After I became my father - inside joke if you want to know email me and I'll tell you - and gave a nurse the 103rd degree about the testing they choose to do first and questioning, well it was more like interrogating with my eyes flashing - why they were doing certain tests and what was the purpose of each test and how did it tell you what you needed to know and why are you waiting on the test that would let us know whether or not she was having a stroke. I had even went so far by getting the doctor's name and knowing where the ER manager office was when God stepped in and had my brother call me. Chuck was so sweet to me, he must of had his monster Jen detector on because he told me not to be a Kersten - which means a bull dog and not thinking much of dr's and their view if I think I know what is best. and to be a Lingle, sweet and kind. To the let the ER run the tests that they need in the order they need it. He then said some other words I don't quite remember but they had a calming effect on me.

In a few minutes they had taken my mom off to run another test, I wasn't allowed to go to any of them. Which left me in the room all by myself, thinking on what my brother had told me and then the lesson from the previous night started to sink right on in - it was an application time. Did I trust God? Did God love my mom more than me? Of course He does, the love I feel for my family and mom is very great, I would do anything for them! But no matter how much I love and care for them, God loves them and cares for them so much MORE!! Wow!! There I sat with noise of the ER all around me and I began to pray. I submitted myself to God, then to the ER doctors, throwing in many prayers that God gave them wisdom and clarity to be able to help my mom. It was a very sweet time the rest of the day. When mom was able to talk a bit, I told her the funny things she did and told the Paramedics. She thankfully laughed with me, unfortunately she didn't remember any of it. As well as a lot of different things that had happened on and off through out the day.

I'll fast forward to the gist of everything. After spending 3 days and 2 night, well almost 3 nights - mom got to come home Friday night. She is still very weak and although her memory is doing better she still is having memory gaps through out the day. Although she does remember things that happened last week and the past as well as some current things. So that is good news!! Officially we do not know from the doctors if she did in fact have a stroke or not. It really depends on which doctor you spoke to and at which time. This part is very frustrating to me. Based on what I have been told, it appears that she had a mini stroke - because she is still suffering from the side affects of one - and it is not detected in a MRI. Which is another story about the MRI because by the time they gave her one it was well over 24 hours since she had been in the hospital.

God has been so kind and sweet to me these last few days. I really feel His strength during this time as I submit to Him. Oddly enough I have been able to take things in stride - with the exception some moments that my sister in law and brother helped me through! :-) I am human! :-) Thanks to Rach, Chuck and my darling husband and all those who have been in constant prayer!!

Well, I should have put the warning of a long read at the beginning. :-) This was all the time I had to spare, it's off to check on mom again and then my boys.